Think carefully what you are trying to reconcile, think of your end goals and what has or hasn’t succeeded so far. Here’s some steps you should think of taking:
Have a few days apart from your spouse to get your thoughts together. While you are apart, both of you should write down needs you each think are getting neglected and issues that got to be worked through.
Next sit down together and calmly talk about each others list. Be respectful. You should listen to really understand, and don’t judge. Have the communication open and honest. This is required to move forward and not fall back to poor communication habits that have prevented progress before this. You will probably find common needs and issues that both of you are having trouble with. Work to find constructive solutions.
Get counsel from trusted friends and family who have gone through similar marriage issues. Give them ideas and actively listen for suggestions from their own experiences that can make a big difference in your own marriage.
Get professional marriage help. Don’t think of hesitating! Talk about your lists of issues with a licensed marriage therapist or counselor. Attend a marriage seminar or marriage workshop that, in a short time, can help you get ideas, skills and techniques that could help you get through your marriage crisis.
If both of you can’t do the these steps above on your own, get some professional marriage help. The implications of divorce or marriage separation are very serious and very many.